There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat…..
One day, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I’ll come back on the 3rd day and if he’s not better, we’re going to have to put him down.
Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation.
The next day, they gave him the medicine and left.
The goat approached the horse and said: – Be strong, my friend. Get up or else they’re going to put you to sleep!
On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left.
The goat came back and said: – Come on buddy, get up or else you’re going to die! Come on, I’ll help you get up.
Let’s go! One, two, three…
On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said:- Unfortunately, we’re going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.
After they left, the goat approached the horse and said: Listen pal, it’s now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That’s it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three… Good, good. Now faster, come on…… Fantastic! Run, run more!
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you’re a champion!!!
All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting: It’s a miracle! My horse is cured. We must have a grand party. Let’s Cook the goat!!!!
Lesson:
Management never knows which employee actually deserves the appraisal.
management decided is decided
There was a king he had 10 wild dogs...
He used them to torture and eat all ministers who made mistakes.
So one of the minister’s once gave an opinion which was wrong, and which the king didn’t like at all…
So he ordered that the minister to be thrown to the dogs.
So the minister said,
"I served you 10 years and you do this..?
Pease give me 10 days before you throw me in with those dogs!
So the king agreed…
In those 10 days the minister went to the guard that was guarding the dogs and told him he wants to serve the dogs for the next 10 days…
The guard was baffled…
But he agreed…
So the minister started feeding the dogs, cleaning for them, washing them, providing all sorts of comfort for them.
So when the 10 days were up…
The king ordered that the minister be thrown in to the dogs for his punishment.
But when he was thrown in,
Everyone was amazed at what they saw..
They saw the dogs licking the feet of the minister!
So the king baffled at what he saw… Said:” what happened to the dog. !!!”
The minister then said;”
I served the dogs for 10 days and they didn’t forget my service…
Yet I served you for 10 years and you forgot all at the first mistake!”…
So the king realized his mistake
and
Got crocodiles instead 😂
Moral : What management decided is decided.. though they are wrong, u will be screwed.
He used them to torture and eat all ministers who made mistakes.
So one of the minister’s once gave an opinion which was wrong, and which the king didn’t like at all…
So he ordered that the minister to be thrown to the dogs.
So the minister said,
"I served you 10 years and you do this..?
Pease give me 10 days before you throw me in with those dogs!
So the king agreed…
In those 10 days the minister went to the guard that was guarding the dogs and told him he wants to serve the dogs for the next 10 days…
The guard was baffled…
But he agreed…
So the minister started feeding the dogs, cleaning for them, washing them, providing all sorts of comfort for them.
So when the 10 days were up…
The king ordered that the minister be thrown in to the dogs for his punishment.
But when he was thrown in,
Everyone was amazed at what they saw..
They saw the dogs licking the feet of the minister!
So the king baffled at what he saw… Said:” what happened to the dog. !!!”
The minister then said;”
I served the dogs for 10 days and they didn’t forget my service…
Yet I served you for 10 years and you forgot all at the first mistake!”…
So the king realized his mistake
and
Got crocodiles instead 😂
Moral : What management decided is decided.. though they are wrong, u will be screwed.
A Wife is Wife
A newly married couple was walking through a garden suddenly a dog ran towards them.
They both knew it will bite them..
The husband lifted his wife and let the dog bite him than his sweetie.
The dog stopped before them barked for a while and ran backwards.
The husband put his wife down expecting a hug and a few kind words from her.
Then his wife shouted
" I have seen people throwing stones and sticks at dogs this is the first time I am seeing someone trying to throw his wife at a dog".
Husband... "😱😱😱😱"
Moral : A Wife is Wife
No One ELSE Can MIS-UNDERSTAND a Husband Better than a Wife
They both knew it will bite them..
The husband lifted his wife and let the dog bite him than his sweetie.
The dog stopped before them barked for a while and ran backwards.
The husband put his wife down expecting a hug and a few kind words from her.
Then his wife shouted
" I have seen people throwing stones and sticks at dogs this is the first time I am seeing someone trying to throw his wife at a dog".
Husband... "😱😱😱😱"
Moral : A Wife is Wife
No One ELSE Can MIS-UNDERSTAND a Husband Better than a Wife
Give him a headache
Lady : My husband just swallowed an Aspirin by mistake, what shall I do?
Dr Raje : "Give him a headache now, why waste medicine !😊😜
basket of eggs
A boy was cycling with a basket of eggs on it.
He hit a stone and fell down along with the cycle.
The eggs also fell down and broke. A crowd gathered around the boy.
As usual free advice started flowing from the on lookers “Couldn’t you be more careful?”
“What is this, you are cycling , casually without attention?”
An old man approached the crowd , saw what had happened and said “Poor fellow this boy has to answer the Owner of the shop.
Ok I will help him , as much as I can”... saying this handed over Rs10/- to the boy. And also said “These onlookers are good people, they will not only give advice, they will help you by giving money also, accept their help”.
The onlookers observing the sayings of the old man and his actions, gave money to the boy.
The boy was very happy, since the money collected was more than the value of the eggs broken.
One of the onlooker asked the boy “young man if that old man was not around,
I do not know what difficulties you would have faced with your owner”
The boy smiled and replied “Sir ,that old man is the owner of the shop,
where I work and he is GUJARATI.
He hit a stone and fell down along with the cycle.
The eggs also fell down and broke. A crowd gathered around the boy.
As usual free advice started flowing from the on lookers “Couldn’t you be more careful?”
“What is this, you are cycling , casually without attention?”
An old man approached the crowd , saw what had happened and said “Poor fellow this boy has to answer the Owner of the shop.
Ok I will help him , as much as I can”... saying this handed over Rs10/- to the boy. And also said “These onlookers are good people, they will not only give advice, they will help you by giving money also, accept their help”.
The onlookers observing the sayings of the old man and his actions, gave money to the boy.
The boy was very happy, since the money collected was more than the value of the eggs broken.
One of the onlooker asked the boy “young man if that old man was not around,
I do not know what difficulties you would have faced with your owner”
The boy smiled and replied “Sir ,that old man is the owner of the shop,
where I work and he is GUJARATI.
How to Pay Attention
Killer joke:
.
.
The Students of MBBS were attending Their 1st
Anatomy
Class,
They all Gathered around the Surgery Table with a
Real Dead
Dog,
..
The Professor put His Finger in Dog's nose &
Taste it
in His
own Mouth,
Then He asked the Students to do the Same,
The students Hesitated for several Minutes,
But atlast EveryOne inserted their Finger in Dog's
nose &
Taste it,
.
.
When everyone finished,
The Professor looked at Them & Said:
The most important Quality is 'Observation'
.
.
I inserted my MIDDLE Finger But Tasted the FIRST
Finger,
Today you just Learn,
"How to Pay Attention"
..
All Students shouted.... kamina.......saala kutta 😂
Self Confidence at its Peak... 👍👍😀
Sardar wrote to S.B.I.:-
"My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank"
😊😋😂😂😝😜
"My Cheque was returned with remark 'Insufficient funds'. I want to know whether it refers to mine or the Bank"
😊😋😂😂😝😜
సతీ సావిత్రి కధ
టీచర్ : సతీ సావిత్రి కధ లో నువ్వు
తెలుసుకున్నది ఏమిటి? చెప్పరా
స్టూడెంట్ : భార్య నుండి
భర్తను ఆ యముడు కూడా
కాపాడలేదని !
తెలుసుకున్నది ఏమిటి? చెప్పరా
స్టూడెంట్ : భార్య నుండి
భర్తను ఆ యముడు కూడా
కాపాడలేదని !
mirror that killed anyone who lied
Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied..
FRENCH : I think I dont smoke (died)
AMERICAN : I think I love my wife (died)
Bablu: I think.. (died)😝
loan without interest
SBI Bank: Our bank is giving loan without interest....
Santa: If you don't have interest in giving loan then I don't want it....
how many apples can you eat
Varun: how many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?
Vijayakanth: I can eat 6 apples.
Varun: Wrong. you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple tht’s not an empty stomach!
Vijayakanth: Wow superb joke I’ll tell my friend...
Vijayakanth to Premalatha: how many apples you can eat on an empty stomach ?
Premalatha: I can eat 10
Vijayakanth: Oh no, if you had told 6, I would have told a nice joke..!! 😰😜😫😂
100 metre race
There was a 100 metre race going on...
Referee said '1,2,3 GO!'...
Everybody started running except Vijayakanth.
Referee - y r u not running...?
Vijayakanth - My number is 4...
టెండర్లను ఆహ్వానించారు
🌺
టెండర్
🏤
అమెరికా అధ్యక్ష భవనం వైట్హౌస్ ప్రాంగణంలో ఒక చోట కంచెను మరమ్మత్తు చేయడానికి టెండర్లను ఆహ్వానించారు.
వచ్చిన దరఖాస్తులను పరిశీలించి చివరికి ముగ్గురిని ఎంపిక చేశారు.
ఒకరు బంగ్లాదేశ్, మరొకరు చైనా, మూడో వ్యక్తి భారతదేశానికి చెందిన వాడు.
ముగ్గురూ వైట్హౌస్ అధికార ప్రతినిథితో కలిసి కంచెను పరీక్షించడానికి వెళ్ళారు.
బంగ్లాదేశీయుడు బ్యాగ్ లోఉన్న టేప్ తీసుకుని స్థలాన్ని, కొలిచి కొన్ని లెక్కలు వేసి చివరికి 900 డాలర్లు ఖర్చవుతుందని తేల్చాడు.
400 డాలర్లు సామగ్రికి,
400 డాలర్లు పనివాళ్ళకు,
100 డాలర్లు అతనికి లాభం.
తరువాత
చైనీయుడి వంతు వచ్చింది.
అతను కూడా ఏవో కొన్ని లెక్కలు వేసి 700 డాలర్లు లెక్క తేల్చాడు.
300డాలర్లు సామాగ్రికి,
300 పనివాళ్ళకు,
100 డాలర్లు లాభం.
చివరగా
భారతీయుడి వంతు వచ్చింది.
కొలతలు వేసే కార్యక్రమాలేమీ పెట్టుకోకుండా అధికార ప్రతినిథిని దగ్గరగా పిలిచి చెవిలో
“2700 డాలర్లవుతుంది”
అన్నాడు.
“నువ్వు వాళ్ళలాగా కనీసం కొలత కూడా వేయలేదు. అంత పెద్ద సంఖ్య ఎలా చెప్పావు?”
“1000 డాలర్లు నీకు ,
1000 డాలర్లు నాకు,
ఆ చైనా వాణ్ణి మనం పనిలో పెట్టుకుందాం. ఏమంటావ్?”
“Done”.
🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺
టెండర్
🏤
అమెరికా అధ్యక్ష భవనం వైట్హౌస్ ప్రాంగణంలో ఒక చోట కంచెను మరమ్మత్తు చేయడానికి టెండర్లను ఆహ్వానించారు.
వచ్చిన దరఖాస్తులను పరిశీలించి చివరికి ముగ్గురిని ఎంపిక చేశారు.
ఒకరు బంగ్లాదేశ్, మరొకరు చైనా, మూడో వ్యక్తి భారతదేశానికి చెందిన వాడు.
ముగ్గురూ వైట్హౌస్ అధికార ప్రతినిథితో కలిసి కంచెను పరీక్షించడానికి వెళ్ళారు.
బంగ్లాదేశీయుడు బ్యాగ్ లోఉన్న టేప్ తీసుకుని స్థలాన్ని, కొలిచి కొన్ని లెక్కలు వేసి చివరికి 900 డాలర్లు ఖర్చవుతుందని తేల్చాడు.
400 డాలర్లు సామగ్రికి,
400 డాలర్లు పనివాళ్ళకు,
100 డాలర్లు అతనికి లాభం.
తరువాత
చైనీయుడి వంతు వచ్చింది.
అతను కూడా ఏవో కొన్ని లెక్కలు వేసి 700 డాలర్లు లెక్క తేల్చాడు.
300డాలర్లు సామాగ్రికి,
300 పనివాళ్ళకు,
100 డాలర్లు లాభం.
చివరగా
భారతీయుడి వంతు వచ్చింది.
కొలతలు వేసే కార్యక్రమాలేమీ పెట్టుకోకుండా అధికార ప్రతినిథిని దగ్గరగా పిలిచి చెవిలో
“2700 డాలర్లవుతుంది”
అన్నాడు.
“నువ్వు వాళ్ళలాగా కనీసం కొలత కూడా వేయలేదు. అంత పెద్ద సంఖ్య ఎలా చెప్పావు?”
“1000 డాలర్లు నీకు ,
1000 డాలర్లు నాకు,
ఆ చైనా వాణ్ణి మనం పనిలో పెట్టుకుందాం. ఏమంటావ్?”
“Done”.
🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺
anger Raavan
It was understandable, the anger Raavan was going through..
Looking at the crowd, who was about to burn him, he angrily asked
"Did I kidnap any of your wives..??? u idiots..!!!
A voice from the crowd said..
"No, You didn't..!! That is why we are burning u"....!!!
😜😝😅
Looking at the crowd, who was about to burn him, he angrily asked
"Did I kidnap any of your wives..??? u idiots..!!!
A voice from the crowd said..
"No, You didn't..!! That is why we are burning u"....!!!
😜😝😅
why difference in price
!⚡! Outside an Electricity Office,
One 🍌Banana vendor was selling Bananas.
Electricity officer: What's the price of Banana?
Vendor - Let me know where you will use it?
Manager - What do you mean?
Vendor- If you are taking it to temple then it's
Rs 10 per kg.
To Orphanage
Rs 15 per kg
For School children
Rs 20 per kg
If you r taking home
Rs 25 per kg
And
For Restaurant
Rs 30 per kg.....
Electricity officer- How can this be? All bananas are same then why difference in price?
Vendor - This is my tariff plan. You people give electricity to home, shop, factory etc from the same pole. But you charge different tariffs..😳
Electricity officer is still in Coma. .😉
One 🍌Banana vendor was selling Bananas.
Electricity officer: What's the price of Banana?
Vendor - Let me know where you will use it?
Manager - What do you mean?
Vendor- If you are taking it to temple then it's
Rs 10 per kg.
To Orphanage
Rs 15 per kg
For School children
Rs 20 per kg
If you r taking home
Rs 25 per kg
And
For Restaurant
Rs 30 per kg.....
Electricity officer- How can this be? All bananas are same then why difference in price?
Vendor - This is my tariff plan. You people give electricity to home, shop, factory etc from the same pole. But you charge different tariffs..😳
Electricity officer is still in Coma. .😉
scrap dealer
😍 Wife - I'm already 58, yet, one of my friend still praises and finds me attractive ❕
😏 Husband - Must be that Usman bhai !
😳 Wife - Exactly ! How did you know ??
😏 Husband - He's a scrap dealer👍
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😏 Husband - Must be that Usman bhai !
😳 Wife - Exactly ! How did you know ??
😏 Husband - He's a scrap dealer👍
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Chennai rains
#Employee in chennai : since heavy rain in chennai I
couldn't come to office ??
#Boss : Your resume said that ur hobby is
swimming, so come soon !!
😂😤😂?
couldn't come to office ??
#Boss : Your resume said that ur hobby is
swimming, so come soon !!
😂😤😂?
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