Man:
Why is your wife shouting at you?
Friend:
She told me to upload her photo in Facebook, I uploaded in olx.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Mistakes do happen!!
good news or bad news
Wife : I have a good news and a bad news
Husband : I am very busy ... Just give me good news
Wife : the airbags worked properly in our new mercedes🚘
😜😝
Husband : I am very busy ... Just give me good news
Wife : the airbags worked properly in our new mercedes🚘
😜😝
In a Nursery School Canteen...
There's a basket of apples with a notice written over it :-)
"Do not take more than one, God is watching"
On the other counter there's a box of chocolates,
A small child went & wrote on it.
"Take as many as U want, God is busy watching the apples"...
NEVER ACT SMART WITH Today's Generation..!.! 😜😜
KID :- Why some of ur hair are white dad...?
DAD : – Every time you make me unhappy , one of my hair turns white…
KID :- Now understand why grandpa’s hairs are all white…
Moral :- Don’t be over smart...
😪😪
Child : Mummy why Gandhi has no hair on his head...?
Mummy : Because he speak only truth...
Child : Now I understud why ladies have long hair...
"Do not take more than one, God is watching"
On the other counter there's a box of chocolates,
A small child went & wrote on it.
"Take as many as U want, God is busy watching the apples"...
NEVER ACT SMART WITH Today's Generation..!.! 😜😜
KID :- Why some of ur hair are white dad...?
DAD : – Every time you make me unhappy , one of my hair turns white…
KID :- Now understand why grandpa’s hairs are all white…
Moral :- Don’t be over smart...
😪😪
Child : Mummy why Gandhi has no hair on his head...?
Mummy : Because he speak only truth...
Child : Now I understud why ladies have long hair...
NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
All salary ppl must read this:-----
After 2 years of selfless service, I realized that I had not been prmoted, no salary increment, no commendation.
So I decided to walk up to my HR Manager. The manager looked at me, smiled and asked me to sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked here for even a single day."
I was shocked to hear this !!!, but the manager went on to explain, and here's the conversation that took place.
Manager: How many days are there in a year?
Me: 365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager: How many hours make up a day?
Me: 24 Hours.
Manager: How long do u work in a day?
Me: 10am to 6pm
(i.e 8 hours a day.)
Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?
Me: 8/24
i.e 1/3 (one third).
Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Me: 122
(1/3 x 366=122 days)
Manager: Do u come to work on weekends?
Me: No sir.
Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Me: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days
do u now have?
Me: 18 days.
Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining?
Me: 4 days.
Manager: Do u work on Republic Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on Independance Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Me: 2 days Sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Me: 1 day sir!
Manager: Do u work on Diwali ?
Me: No Sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Me: None Sir!
Manager: So what r u claiming?
Me: I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing company
money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
(HR-HIGH RISK.)
.
.
.
So, How many days do you work ?
😜😜😝😝😂😂
After 2 years of selfless service, I realized that I had not been prmoted, no salary increment, no commendation.
So I decided to walk up to my HR Manager. The manager looked at me, smiled and asked me to sit down saying: "My friend you have not worked here for even a single day."
I was shocked to hear this !!!, but the manager went on to explain, and here's the conversation that took place.
Manager: How many days are there in a year?
Me: 365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager: How many hours make up a day?
Me: 24 Hours.
Manager: How long do u work in a day?
Me: 10am to 6pm
(i.e 8 hours a day.)
Manager: So, what fraction of the day do u work in hours?
Me: 8/24
i.e 1/3 (one third).
Manager: This is nice of u! what is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Me: 122
(1/3 x 366=122 days)
Manager: Do u come to work on weekends?
Me: No sir.
Manager: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Me: 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
Manager: Thanks for that. If u remove 104 days from 122 days. how many days
do u now have?
Me: 18 days.
Manager: I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do u have remaining?
Me: 4 days.
Manager: Do u work on Republic Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on Independance Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Me: 2 days Sir!
Manager: Do u come to work on New Years Day?
Me: No sir!
Manager: So how many days r left?
Me: 1 day sir!
Manager: Do u work on Diwali ?
Me: No Sir!
Manager: So how many days are left?
Me: None Sir!
Manager: So what r u claiming?
Me: I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing company
money all these days.
Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
(HR-HIGH RISK.)
.
.
.
So, How many days do you work ?
😜😜😝😝😂😂
The Dirty Laundry 👕👔👚
A young couple moved into a new neighborhood.
The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman watches her neighbour hang the washed laundry outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said, "she doesn't know how to wash correctly.
Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."
Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbour would hang her washed clothes to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:
"Look! She has learnt how to wash correctly.
I wonder who taught her this."
The husband said: "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!"
And so it is with life:
What we see when we are watching others, depends on the purity of the window through which we look.
Our life is a creation of our mind !!!😊
So let us remember this Story of 'Dirty Laundry' and clean our windows before commenting or concluding on others and Your Life will surely give a better view!
The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman watches her neighbour hang the washed laundry outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said, "she doesn't know how to wash correctly.
Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."
Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbour would hang her washed clothes to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:
"Look! She has learnt how to wash correctly.
I wonder who taught her this."
The husband said: "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!"
And so it is with life:
What we see when we are watching others, depends on the purity of the window through which we look.
Our life is a creation of our mind !!!😊
So let us remember this Story of 'Dirty Laundry' and clean our windows before commenting or concluding on others and Your Life will surely give a better view!
14 short stories - worth reading,
1. Fall and Rise
Today, when I slipped on the wet tile floor a boy in a wheelchair caught me before I slammed my head on the ground. He said, “Believe it or not, that’s almost exactly how I injured my back 3 years ago .
2. A father's advice
Today, my father told me, “Just go for it and give it a try! You don’t have to be a professional to build a successful product. Amateurs started Google and Apple. Professionals built the Titanic
3. The power of uniqueness.
Today, I asked my mentor – a very successful business man in his 70’s – what his top 3 tips are for success. He smiled and said, “Read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking, and do something no one else is doing.
4. Looking Back
Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I’m working on for my Psychology class. When I asked her to define success in her own words, she said, “Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.
5. Try and U shall know
I am blind by birth. When I was 8 years old, I wanted to play baseball. I asked my father- "Dad, can I play baseball?" He said "You'll never know until you try." When I was a teenager, I asked him, - "Dad Can I become a surgeon?". He replied "Son, you'll never know until you try." Today I am a Surgeon, just because I tried!
6. GOODNESS & GRATITUDE
Today, after a 72 hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me at the grocery store and gave me a hug. When I tensed up, she realized I didn’t recognize her. She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most sincere smile and said, “On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade Center.”
7. LOVE CONQUERS PAIN
Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face.
8. A DOOR CLOSES TO OPEN ANOTHER
Today at 7AM, I woke up feeling ill, but decided I needed the money, so I went into work. At 3PM I got laid off. On my drive home I got a flat tire. When I went into the trunk for the spare, it was flat too. A man in a BMW pulled over, gave me a ride, we chatted, and then he offered me a job. I start tomorrow.
9. LOOKING BACK
Today, as my father, three brothers, and two sisters stood around my mother’s hospital bed, my mother uttered her last coherent words before she died. She simply said, “I feel so loved right now. We should have gotten together like this more often.”
10. AFFECTION
Today, I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a small hospital bed. About 5 seconds after he passed, I realized it was the first time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy.
11. INNOCENCE
Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to start recycling. I chuckled and asked, “Why?” She replied, “So you can help me save the planet.” I chuckled again and asked, “And why do you want to save the planet?” “Because that’s where I keep all my stuff,” she said.
12. JOY
Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old cancer patient laughing hysterically at her 2-year-old daughter’s antics, I suddenly realized that I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating it again.
13. KINDNESS
Today, a boy in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling on crutches with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for me. He helped me all the way across campus to my class and as he was leaving he said, “I hope you feel better soon.”.
14. SHARING
Today, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from Zimbabwe. He said he hadn’t eaten anything in over 3 days and looked extremely skinny and unhealthy. Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he was eating. The first thing the man said was, “We can share it.”
Cheers to life.
One of the best post, ever gone through.....
Awesome post...must read...
One of the best post, ever gone through.....
Awesome post...must read...
6 LITTLE🌱STORIES
{ 1 }
ONCE, All villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the People gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella.
That's
FAITH
-----------------
{ 2 }
WHEN You throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her.
That's
TRUST
------------------
{ 3 }
EVERY Night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next
Morning but still we set the alarms to wake up.
That's
HOPE
-----------------
{ 4 }
WE Plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.
That's
CONFIDENCE
-------------------
{ 5 }
WE See the world suffering.
But still we get Married.
That's
LOVE.
--------------------
{6}
On an Old Man's shirt was written a cute sentence
'I Am Not 60 Years Old.., I Am Sweet 16 with 44 years Experience.'
That's
ATTITUDE
---------------
Nice jokes ....
Wife - i m going to landon do u wnt any gift
Hus- a british girl ...
Wife- ok...
Wife returns..
Hus- whr is d gift ?
Wife- wait for 9 months
---------------------
In an entrance of an hospital sardar ask a boy
Sardar- why r u crying?
Boy- they cut my finger for blood test...
Sardar- Baap re , i came here for urine test...
................. ...............................
Argument betwn british n india.
British - we spoiled ur mothr land for 200 yrs hahaha
India - hahaha we r spoiling ur mothr tongue daily hahahahahaha
........ ...... .............................. ..
Teachr - wht is d full form of MATHS..
Student- mentally affected teachr harassing student...
..............................................
Son - padosi ki ladki ko english nahi aati
Fathr - tujhe kese pata ??
Son -giv me a kiss bola toh thappad marti hai saali Anpad gawar
..................................................
Sardar in computr exam.
Exmnr- wht iz microsoft excel ?
Sardar - i thnk it iz a new brand of surf excel to clean d computer...
................. ...............................
Argument betwn british n india.
British - we spoiled ur mothr land for 200 yrs hahaha
India - hahaha we r spoiling ur mothr tongue daily hahahahahaha
........ ...... .............................. ..
Teachr - wht is d full form of MATHS..
Student- mentally affected teachr harassing student...
..............................................
Son - padosi ki ladki ko english nahi aati
Fathr - tujhe kese pata ??
Son -giv me a kiss bola toh thappad marti hai saali Anpad gawar
..................................................
Sardar in computr exam.
Exmnr- wht iz microsoft excel ?
Sardar - i thnk it iz a new brand of surf excel to clean d computer...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)